![]() This vicious cycle can just keep spinning. This will typically generate even more negative feelings and a sense of having no control. When we fail to see your own involvement in our own problems, regardless of how unfair it might feel for us to have them, we end up relinquishing our power over changing a situation to someone/something else. The trouble with this attitude is that you are leaving the control over your life and your changes to external sources. They are either waiting for a situation to change so that emotional change can be achieved, or they are waiting for their ‘emotional winds’ to turn in their favour so that they can then act themselves out of their situation. The common denominator is that the person is not changing anything themselves on a behavioural level. Let us handle them all collectively- because they are all connecting back to the same thing. ‘I cannot believe I have not seen any results even if I keep going on diets’ ‘why do I continue to lose when I gamble- surely at some point the luck should turn’ ‘this job is still not filling my needs – only everyone else keeps getting promoted’ ‘why is this relationship still not living up to my expectations’ As a Psychologists these are questions you are often presented with from clients who have sought you out because they really do wish to change…. Sometimes we have to commit to make them anyway! Needless to say- that is a lot harder. One of the troubles in life is that we cannot always rely on our motivation, or our feelings in general, to give us the prompt we may need to make positive changes in our lives. Often, we know very well that doing something in a situation would be the best for us long term, but we simply cannot mobilise ourselves to do it. after month …after year go past and rather than acknowledging the blatant facts that the time will never COME to them- the excuses keep raining in and status quo is achieved at the cost of no progression.įor those of you who feel like I am stating the obvious, the point I am trying to make is this But every time they sit down to do it - distractions are sought out or there just so happens to be more pressing things coming up in between. Ø The perpetual procrastinator who keeps saying they are going to do x,y, z and even enthusiastically believe it will happen. Ø The addict who is not only in denial about their using to their friends and family, but also manages to fool him/herself a lot of the time while entertaining excuses such as ' well I can only quit if my partner was more supportive.' ' no way is this a good month to quit drinking - its Christmas for goodness sakes' 'yes but if I stopped that would mean not being able to go to bars with my best friends and clearly that would be bad for my mood' Yet when you, as their good friend, point out that they could change jobs, try a new sport, engage in a hobby etc - all you get is their resistance and their excuses. Ø The depressive and negative person that keeps complaining… ’my job is so boring’ ‘ I’m so overweight’ ‘ everyone else is having a better time’. ![]() ![]() ![]() Obvious as it may be spend a second or so reflecting on it and then ask yourselves if you can honestly say that you adhere to this simple formula.įind below a few scenarios just to give you a few different contexts that you may well have come across that suggests otherwise… (Tony Robbins has numerous other great quotes and techniques that can be beneficial so if you want to check him out - find his facebook page is here: The fact is that we must action our way out of problems, and that change produces change! It is something we all probably know in our hearts is the truth, yet we commonly spend more time avoiding this truth than living by it. I really like this quote- it is so simple and obvious- yet so accurate. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |